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Monthly Archives: July 2009

Trainsylvania: Off The Rails

Even with his steam-powered sovereign state immobilized along the side of the tracks, Conductor Korlav’s vampire army is growing… and building an airplane. As “Captain” Korlav terrorizes small Midwestern rail yards and depots, murdering and turning young women into bloodsucking stewardesses for his ad hoc redeye of the damned, Agent Lucas Brash is still mourning the death of his partner and lover, Agent Millie Fairweather. Little does Brash know that he’s about to find out he has a son – a disgraced Air Force pilot. If you thought Brash and Fairweather were an explosive team, wait until you see Brash and Brash in this non-stop mid-air adventure that once again reminds us that modern transportation is great… until vampires steal it. Get ready to fly the deadly skies in this thrilling sequel to the film that USA Today called “…exciting…”

Color Me Murder 2

Color Me Murder 2 picks up exactly where the unforgettable original left off, with Cole Preston driving off into the sunset, billionaire Rex DeMarco’s murder solved and scheming billionaire Leo Claymore and his simpering millionaire lackey, Harvey Tigland, in jail. But then Cole Preston’s car explodes! Now it’s up to Rex DeMarco’s wife, billionaire Anna DeMarco, and her nosy gardener (and the first film’s hilarious comic relief) Jose, to avenge Cole Preston’s death… and maybe even fall in love… and get married. Some murder is money blind and all money is the color of blood. Color Me Vengeance… Color Me Sensuousness… Color Me Murder… 2.

President Baseball 2

Trash-talking second baseman Mark “A-Bomb” Arden has been re-elected, and this time, the whole team’s coming with him! Fresh off his side-splitting, tell-it-like-it-is re-election campaign (featuring hilarious filibusters like “I’m all for gun control… if it’s controlling a gun so it shoots you in your whiny liberal pussy!” and “Global warming can eat my fat dick!”), A-Bomb, a proud ex-Milwaukee Brewer, fills all 15 cabinet positions with the top 15 players from the Chicago Cubs, ensuring massive Chicago losses. Meanwhile, approval ratings are down and an evil Saudi oil magnate is threatening to blow up all of America’s oil! Can President A-Bomb and his new Secretary of Homeland Security, second baseman P.J. “Pacman” Ackerman, overcome their past rivalry in time to save the country… and make it to happy hour?! It’s a homerun for America, and a grand slam for comedy!

Explodercycle 2: American Nitro

Boasting an all new cast and freshly secreted adrenaline, the explosive second chapter of the Explodercycle story moves the exploding motorcycle action from the beaches and montañas of Brazil to the highways of America. With the 120 mph blood-smuggling schemes of former Explodercycle commissioner Delmar Piston foiled, the circuit’s back up and riding, with an epic cross-country race from Los Angeles to Washington, D.C. But what happens when three cult members disguising themselves as Explodercycle competitors decide to build their bikes out of a disassembled nuclear bomb, ride the bikes (the bomb!) to the capital, reassemble the bomb and then detonate the bomb? Can rookie U.S. Marshall, and the sassy gay car thief who he accidentally handcuffed to himself, win first place in this high-octane transamerican road trip to hell and adventure, and in the higher octane road trip to save the capital? *Spoiler Alert* Yes.

Doubt 3

John Patrick Shanley returns to write and direct this hard-hitting follow-up to his award-winning sequel to Doubt, Doubt 2. In this new chapter, repairs have been completed and St. Nicholas in the Bronx is re-opening. An aging Sister James finally watches the last episode of HBO’s The Sopranos. She thinks Tony probably got killed at the end. But she has so much doubt.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Children, lock up your parents! The knee-slappinest, toe-tappinest husband and wife rock ‘n’ fun band is back… and this time they’re taking you to court! The food court, that is! Veteran kid’s music outfit Rock, Paper, Smile! would like to announce the release of their new album, We Find the Defendant… YUMMY!, available in stores everywhere on Tuesday, July, 14th, 2009.

What better way to say, “Pass the ketchup!” to the hot dog days of summer than with a zany new food and laws-themed set of guaranteed hip-shakers by the same wacky folks who brought you such jammin’ hits as “Red Light, Stop! Green Light, Rock!,” “Liars Can’t Dance!” and “Abe Lincoln’s Bio-Diesel Birthday Machine”? It’s a one-step recipe for an all-you-can-party buffet of family entertainment!

Why a themed album? Isn’t that TOO MUCH FUN?!?!

“We wanted to find a way to take two things that are really important – food and the law – and mix them with our trademark blend of catchy melodies and fun, quirky lyrics,” explains guitarist and vocalist Cindy Paper. “When you’re as wacky and zany as Rock, Paper, Smile!,” adds her husband, keyboardist and vocalist Mark Paper, “too much fun is the expected amount of fun!”

With 12 irresistible new tunes, We Find the Defendant… YUMMY! is stuffed so full of delicious ditties and scrumptious songs, your ears will need to buy a bigger belt… but first, they’ll come back for seconds!

I’m a pop cop! / I read Coke®s and Sprite®s their Miranda rights / I put ginger ale in jail!

Drinks with fizz, meet the soda fuzz! “Pop Cop,” a chugging (pun definitely intended!) power ballad about a dentist-turned-police officer arresting sugary beverages for assaulting teeth, will have your fingers snapping and your mouth clapping!

But don’t worry! Sometimes a little sugar is okay…

The lollipops escaped from jail and chocolate bars are jumping bail / Both are guilty of lacking nutrition, but Argentina has no extradition / It’s a South American candy fiesta!

Ole! Pass the salsa. No, not the dip! The popular Latino music! “South American Candy Fiesta,” Rock, Paper, Smile!’s first journey into the funky musical jungles of our neighbors to the south, adds a twist of jalapeno to the rich stew of rock and silliness you’ve come to love! But be careful… It’s caliente!

And what’s this? Rap, Paper, Smile!?

The pepperoni pizza was arrested doing 80 in a ’67 caddy with a chicken patty lady / his attorney was spaghetti with a side of mahi mahi / and the jury was a dozen oily rolls of tuna sushi!

The sizzling “Guilty of Yummy” celebrates the 21st century’s newest musical trend, hip-hop, in a family friendly way that every rhyme-hungry homie can enjoy! Crank up the bass, and the laughter, with this roof-raising courtroom drama that puts the “con” back in “condiments”! It’s fun to the izzle!

We Find the Defendant… YUMMY! features nine other delectable musical confections, including “Brunch is Like Justice,” “You Can’t Bribe a Judge with Broccoli” and “Blueberry Pancake, Attorney at Law.”

Mark and Cindy Paper have been writing and recording music together as Rock, Paper, Smile! for 13 years. Their previous albums include It’s All of Your Bee’s Wax!, Wiggle Your Piggle! and the critically acclaimed Pants-Ants Exterminator.